Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think a kid would responsible me up
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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