The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
