You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
