and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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