Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize