i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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