She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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