why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
