i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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