I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize