I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
