What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
