Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
