whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
