So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
