Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
