i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize