If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
