Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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