U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
