i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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