quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
