did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
