He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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