Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
