i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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