Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
