i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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