Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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