Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
