I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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