Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
