i think my tv is drunk
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
