I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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