whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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