New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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