If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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