Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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