You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
