I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
