I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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