so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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