Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
