Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize