In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
