i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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