i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
