Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
