This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
