I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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