Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
