I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
