I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
