After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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