I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
