take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
