You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
