I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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