If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
